When this whole change thing started I became really forgetful. Now I have always moved quickly from subject to subject. My children have said that I have the attention span of a squirrel. But I was still able to remember everything. My brain held my to-do list, and my kid’s to-do list and my husband’s and everyone’s phone number and what you wore the last time I saw you. And then the change hit and though I continued to jump around in my thoughts I also became really scatterbrained and forgetful. Which just sucked.
But now I am back again, remembering more. And so can get back to the other thoughts whereas before I could not.
And I am beginning to have quiet mind. Which I obviously do not have right at this moment. But which I am beginning to have more and more in my life, too.
The many moods of menopause are shifting to become one constant, and much more calm mood. And this is a great thing. It hasn't happened completely that my mind is calm and quiet. It isn’t happening today. Definitely not today. But more and more lately. I am becoming that calm woman. Calm and serene and balanced. I've got my groove on and I am fine.
And then this internal heat rises up out of me, like the phoenix rising - sorry I could not help myself. This internal heat, it overtakes me and I NEED TO TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF.
When all this menopause stuff started happening this internal inferno was only a nighttime occurrence. This is not the case anymore. I get these now. At night and in the day. Both. Not as bad as I have seen. I don't have sweat poring down my face as the heat overtakes me but I certainly get hot. As in get this fucking sweater off me hot. And I use this as the example because I am sitting here writing in this great sweater that I have taken off and put on and taken off and put on like a gazillion times in the space of not so much time.
Because it is chilly out. And so I am cold. And then I am hot. Like burning hot. Like phoenix rising hot. And then cold again. And hot. You get the idea.
And this got me thinking, as things like this do. That this is hot. My being hot. It is hot like sexy hot. I am constantly taking off my clothes. Whether I am alone or in public, when that heat rises out of me I am taking things off. And I am thinking about taking off my clothes all the time. When I decide what to wear I keep in mind that they have to come off. Easily. And Quickly. Because when that hot bird starts rising from my core, I need to let her OUT. And so I think about what clothes come off easily. And I take them off quite often these days.
So, whether you are a woman also going through this like I am, or someone watching this happen, put this filter on and check this out and see this menopausal phoenix rising hot flash thing not as a burden to bare on the road to wise womanhood, but as a sexy fine piece of ass taking her clothes off kind of thing.
See, it’s all really a matter of perspective.