Today is obviously a day of reflection. I didn't plan this. I did not wake up and think that this writing today would delve into the nuances of my life right now. In fact, I wasn't quite sure what today's writing was going to be about. Which does happen quite often actually. The not knowing till I start. And so it is with this writing today, too.
The title came first.
I liked all the words starting with the same letter. I had balance and boundaries already there and needed something to keep the rhythm right. Bone Broth. Perfect. And in that instant the theme expanded.
So bone broth. My husband and I drink this every day. I had been reading about it. The health benefits. Truthfully, for my dog not for us. I wanted to give her the nutrients she needs to get her &#($)(#& ears to stand up as doberman ears do and which her left one won't...and I went searching on line and found out about bone meal and raw chicken feet and all sorts of other tasty treats like that and got to thinking about bone broth. Natalie Portman once was interviewed and talked about drinking it and I like Natalie Portman. So the interview stuck and there was bone broth, in the deep recesses of my brain waiting to come out.
And if it was good enough for my pup it was certainly good enough for me. And my husband, too.
I tried to make it on my own. With like 2 pounds of raw chicken feet from this really cool butcher in my town, and it ended up tasting pretty awful. Not sure why. Even my dog didn't want to drink it. So on line I went and now we order it from this great place - www.bonebroth.com. Go check it out. It's tasty and nutritious. My nails look great!
And this is important because they were not looking so good. I googled it. Brittle nails in post menopausal women and there it was - a symptom of lack of hormones and body changes. Which sucks because I always had really great nails. Strong and well shaped. And now they were not. Until the bone broth... Moving on.
Boundaries. As in creating new one and respecting old ones and forging forward with three adult children - really four with my daughter in law to be.
This is going really well. I think. You'll have to check in with them, too. But it feels good. And I have come up with ways to cope through the transition. So that I can still do the mommy thing when I need to - as in when I am feeling anxious and want to control the situation even when I know that of course I can't control anything. But still I need to say that something or do some action. And so I have come up with a warning. A preface to my mommyisms so that my kids can prepare for what is to come. Plus it adds a bit of humor to what could instead just be annoying at best and overwhelming at worst.
I say: Ok, I'm going to be a mommy for a minute here. Or something like that. And if I am texting I add a few smily faces or some flowers or hearts. And all is good. I get to do my mommy thing and my kids hopefully feel appreciative of any insight and compassionate as they watch me navigate going from adult to their child to two adults in this new relationship that we have together.
Which brings me to balance.
I have it. Balance. These days I do. In pretty much all that is happening right now. In my sleep. And my food and my friends and my family. I have a rhythm that flows. Slowly. And softly. It's an older rhythm. That comes forth from other times, other women. Ancient days.
It has no high highs and no deep lows. Just a steady and balanced beat in which I dance along. It's called my life right now. And it's good.
Steady. Even. Soft and light.