My AD(h)D Mind & I Collect Quotes

I collect quotes.
 
Quotes, statements, paragraphs packed with wisdom.  Memes. Often they are memes. The current Prophet’s current communication vehicle. 
 
Sometimes I am like, “woah, this fell into my lap/phone screen in such a profound way. I must really need to hear this.”
 
Other times, I am like, “fucking FB algorithms.”
 
I recently deactivated my FB. Not because of the fucking algorithms. Because of the brain suck. I literally could lose an hour(s) at a time scrolling.  Well aware that I am losing an hour at a time scrolling and giving that some thought while doing it.
 
I have an AD(h)D mind and so can multi-task within the confines of my brain.  Often the tasks are in conflict, as is (was) the case with scrolling for an hour at a time while working through the process of not scrolling and how that would feel during the hour at a time.
 
While thinking of needing to learn a monologue for an audition while thinking about an old friend or not and what is that email that I need to send as a recap for my work and where are my dogs. 
 
My AD(h)D mind doodles. It is a way to keep part of this mind of mine so busy so the rest of me can pay attention to the task at hand. 
 
I had a funny conversation with my husband the other day. Well not really a conversation, I asked him a question. In the midst of the conversation. I asked him a question and before he could get like two words of his answer out I asked a different one. They seemed related to me. We laughed.
 
He’s got to get quicker on the answer or my mind gets bored and it’s time to move on.
 
Did you know that you can’t be in anxiety if you’re in curiosity?
 
I didn’t ever (like ever) think I had AD(h)D.  I don’t think I have the “h” actually—hence the lower case “h.” Though I do understand that…    I forgot what I was going to say.
 
This is a great quote— “No person can step into the same river twice,” from the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus.
 
A great quote, right! 
 
That has nothing to do with anything else I’ve just talked about but hey…. Well maybe it does. I have to think about this.
 
Did you know that the nervous system is constantly trying to regulate itself?  It’s called pendulation. I’m taking a training for my Somatic Experiencing certification. I was in my Beginner, Level II training last week for four days, from 10-5:30 each day. I cannot sit still.  
 
And this is cool, I have an audition tonight and did a play reading just this past weekend.  Lots of creativity going on.  We flew to Massachusetts for like 36 hours. My husband and I, for me to do this reading of a play that a friend wrote.  I had reached out this past spring with a “would you write a play again” request. And what an amazing play that we got to read to a small audience for feedback and reaction. It was beautiful.
 
A quick trip. We saw our grandkids. God they are so friggin’ delicious.
 
Here’s a great quote from my SE training teacher: “It’s difficult when we want to be in connection with ourselves, when being in connection with ourselves was dangerous in the past.”
 
Oh, and I took a ballet class last week. My back said “what the fuck” and my soul was like “this is the best thing ever!”
 
~
 
An afterthought:
 
This photo, with this writing, is an attempt at a “pano” on my phone.  I use this panoramic photo option all the time and my panoramic photos come out great. So, not sure why this one came out like this, this time. But so friggin’ cool, right!? 
 
I wasn’t sure of the best photo for this writing.  And then I found this photo on my phone and thought this would be a good one. Not an AD(h)D one just an interesting one. But then, placed below my title of my writing I was like “is this my AD(h)D brain? It is not. It may look like that to you if, a) you have an ADHD brain that looks like this, or b) don’t have an ADHD brain. For me, my brain is not swirly. Chaotic, yes. Swirly, no.
 
And here's the thing that I think this photo is telling me. It’s saying that maybe when we try to see more than we are able to see, it gets misconstrued and out of whack and not quite right. Maybe we need to keep the camera, that is our eye, still. And the breadth of our vision will enlarge when we’re ready to have those outside our vision things come into view on their own time.
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