Last week I wrote about my changing body. A trip down a handful of body parts and internal workings that have taken on a life all their own (as in long, rogue eyebrows) and somehow seem foreign to me even as they are me.
It was light and humorous and I wrote it for one really important reason: so we can all talk about it. It is happening to me and it will happen to other women. Or has happened to many already. Not necessarily exactly the things that I am experiencing but changes nonetheless. And I wanted to share the journey. Because so many women do not.
I can go on and on about how we live in a time where perfection is the unattainable norm. Where images race across the screen, are pictured in the magazines, walk past us down the street all nipped and tucked and set just right. And that certainly is part of it. But I think there is an even bigger issue going on. I think women have disconnected from each other on this fundamental level of sisterhood. That karmic, cosmic connection that unites us in our journey from maiden to mother and into crone.
We don’t share these things readily with each other. In the past, think back to ancient times, to living together in communities, tribes, covens - to when we were more connected to the earth, we lived through these changes with each other. And we honored the aging process. We became wise women. Elders.
But now we live in separate houses and separate spaces and we clothe our transforming bodies and do not see each others life journeys become etched into our skin. And that is sad.
Because as we cover up our bodies, we close down our hearts to each other.
We lose the reverence for each other and for ourselves. And this disconnect settles into ourselves in a really unhealthy way because as we shut down from those around us - whether through fear or sadly, in shame for not living up to an ideal - we start to internalize those feelings until they become us.
I wanted my first writing in this blog that I have embarked on creating to be about women because I wanted to focus on being a women and talking to women from that place of being the same.
My light, airy musing is really a deep-seated need to connect to you, other women, on this authentic level of honoring myself and honoring you.
And opening up of a dialog so that we can feel that support and love and acceptance. Both in ourselves and with each other.
Women are extraordinary. And we get better and better as we get older. I know this because it is happening to me. I am wise now. I have less shit. Not no shit…but less shit. I am starting to move with a grace that I have not known before as I become more grounded into myself and into the earth.
I am really proud of this age that I now am. And I am proud of the journey that I have taken to get here. Proud of the woman that I was throughout this aging adventure and proud of who I am becoming now.
I am proud of the wisdom I feel seeping into me. Because now I, too, know many things. That settled and peaceful giving that I see in other women, older than I, as it expanded from within themselves - a knowledge that swims in this great pool, formed from their life experience - I am starting to have this now.
For I, no longer maiden nor mother – now that my children are grown – am becoming that wise crone. Yes, just at the beginning of this next and last stage of womanhood, but still embracing this new path. With bravery and grace.
And now, I begin to feel this love for my body in a whole new way. There is strength in these bones and flesh. There is power in my arms and legs that was not there before. My neck holds my head up high and my back carries me straight and fierce. I am beautiful in my skin.
I am proud of my age. I speak this truth with my clear eyes and strong heart.
I want to walk in this earth-connected place with other women by my side. I want this same connection that I am discovering that I have to myself and to this earth to ground with others outside of myself. This is what that writing was. The reaching out to you by opening myself up to you. The beginning of this connection that I seek.
Mother, Wife, Friend, Sister, Daughter, Dancer, Rower, Runner, Dog and Cat lover.