We all have these stories we tell.
I like to break them into two buckets.
There are the ones we tell about those things that happen in our lives. You know, these stories we bring up at parties that we know will get a laugh. These stories that are classic and funny and so easy to share. And each time we share these experiences we can hear the story as we tell it. And it comes out the same way each time. We can hear the repetition but can’t seem to detour from the path.
Well, these are really just good stories. Like really good. They capture these moments that we are sharing about in such a good way.
These stories, I am finding lately that, though these are great stories, and basically true even though over time memory becomes the truth and the truth gets blurred by time. These are good stories. And so they come up. Even though I am a bit bored of them and when I share them, they feel routine and, to me, a bit predictable. And a bit pat. (trite)(mundane)(routine)(habitual)(automatic).
But God they are funny.
Like the one about how we named our first dog story. Or the one about our Doberman’s girlfriend, who he dated for a quick minute, and then she had 12 puppies. (now that’s a story!). There’s the moving into Framingham story and the how I met my husband one, too. There’s the when I was pregnant and in law school and rear ended a fancy car in the parking garage, but when he saw my MASSIVE belly…precious cargo. And the we appreciate your talent story about landing a role in a film in New York that they suggested I do for free.
And so many more.
And I don’t want to hear myself tell them anymore. Even though, as I reflect on them as I reflect in this writing, I love these stories a lot.
So there are these stories. Still true. Faded a bit with time but I’ve told them so many times that each time I tell them, they are the exact same kind of true.
Then there are the other stories.
These are more the ones we tell ourselves about ourselves and about other people. These are not the, God that was such a funny moment story. Nope.
These are the stories that fit a narrative that serves us. These are the stories that we have created over time because they fill a need. Because we need them. Because they make things make sense. Until one day…oh fuck, they don’t.
We still use them for a bit more after that. After the oh fuck moment. Because they are a habit and have kept us safe for such a long time and fit the rhythm of our internal dialog. So we repeat them still.
And each time, they feel that less good.
I was coaching someone the other day, and we were talking about how the shifts we make in our evolutions of our soul in this journey of our human experience, these shifts, when we drop in there is often a delay. Our soul goes ‘oh thank fucking God that you made it here finally’ but in our bodies and our minds there is a bit of a lag. And so the stories, they continue for a bit.
And then, one day, we say this story out loud to our friend. Or our therapist. Or our friend who’s a therapist and these words, they exist in the air and we say, ‘oh fuck.’ But louder now, because this really isn’t true anymore.
And then we let them go.
I’ve been reworking my website as I rework my work.
Let’s start with my work. As many (all)(most)(some)(most) of you know, I have been a Divorce Mediator for a long ass time. Too long (sometimes) I think—I have declared that I am retiring from this work a number of times. But still I will get pulled back in because, well… I am really good at it. And help a lot of people. I make a difference in their lives and it’s hard to not step in and work with these couples and families during this, God, this is such a most difficult time in their lives.
And there is the Couples and Family Mediation work that I do, too. An offshoot of the Divorce work, at first, when couples I was separating were referring me to couples that were coupling but still challenged in their dynamics with each other. And then, in time, as a stand along offering as my reputation grew in this bucket. I work with couples, with families altogether, with parents and their kids, with just their kids. It’s good work.
And then, over these past number of years I started to step into something new—I am an Executive and Leadership Coach.
This fell into my lap as my husband’s coaching company, Garth Rose Consulting, needed someone (me) to take over the coaching as he grew his (amazing) software company, GenRocket.
The progression to this makes sense. The executives I coach are predominantly in Family Business. So the GM is managing the VP of Sales, who also happens to be his older brother. And the dad (founder) is retired, but not really. And the youngest sister, just out of school and doing support work, actually has the most commanding style and the best leadership drivers of the bunch.
Family Mediation camouflaged as Leadership Coaching where I offer tools in leadership and management and delegation and accountability. And communication and active listening and self-regulation and empathy and how to be kind while also being direct. You get the idea.
The work that I do most, is mostly this Leadership Coaching work. While I will take the Divorce Mediation client (see above, in paragraph 1) and I continue to work with couples and families, the focus of my time is the Leadership and Executive Coaching.
But my website, it was still presenting me as a Divorce Mediator.
Time for an edit (upgrade)(rework).
I launched it today. This is my Home Page (introduction)(explanation)(overview of my offerings)--
Hi and welcome to Elizabeth Rose Mediation.
It may seem that my offerings don't quite match—the Executive and Leadership Coaching along with the Mediation work— oh but they do.
Because all this work, whether the navigation to end your marriage, the commitment to nurture your relationships, or the desire to grow as a leader in your company, all ground on two essential skills—
Emotional Intelligence and creating the container of Psychological (Emotional) Safety.
A quick review--
Daniel Goleman popularized the term Emotional Intelligence in 1995. He states that emotional intelligence is a person's ability to manage their feelings so that those feelings are expressed appropriately and effectively.
There are four Emotional Intelligence Pillars: Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Awareness of others (Empathy), and Building Relationship.
Allow me to paraphrase/expand/engage a bit with this--
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage our feelings so that they are expressed in the best way to support our relationships with each other. This means we need to know where we're at, how to regulate where we're at so that we don't sabotage our interactions with others, understand where they're at so that we can read the dynamic and, again, self-regulate in response to their emotional and possible de-regulation and, in turn, build this productive and quite lovely, even when it's a challenging dialog, relationship with others.
Once we do this, we are able to create Psychological Safety (the business term)/Emotional Safety (the relationship term).
Psychological Safety means that, as leaders, we are creating a container in our work environment that accomplishes four essential goals for a great work environment--
—Inclusion Safety. That members feel safe to belong to the team. They are comfortable being present, do not feel excluded, and feel like they are wanted and appreciated.
—Learner Safety. That members are able to learn through asking questions. Team members here may be able to experiment, make (and admit) small mistakes, and ask for help.
—Contributor Safety. That members feel safe to contribute their own ideas, without fear of embarrassment or ridicule. This is a more challenging state, because volunteering your own ideas can increase the psychosocial vulnerability of team members. And,
—Challenger Safety. That members can question others’ (including those in authority) ideas or suggest significant changes to ideas, plans, or ways of working.
As Leaders, when we create this container of Psychological Safety, we are creating an environment where our team can approach us with confidence, knowing that they will be listened to, respected, appreciated, and valued.
Now Emotional Safety—similar theme, different word choice--
Emotional Safety means that, as humans in relationship with each other, we are creating a container in our relationship with others where--
—We feel valued and valuable.
—We can truly be ourselves without the risk of judgment.
—We can show our weaknesses without being taken advantage of.
—We can share boldly and express ourselves freely.
—We feel seen, heard, and understood.
When we, as participants in our relationships, create this container of Emotional Safety, we are creating an environment where the people we care about can interact from a place of vulnerability, which is the key element that fosters connection, knowing that they will be valued, honored, supported, and respected.
It all starts from here. From knowing ourselves, and then taking that knowledge into the container of safety for others.
When we are able to do this, self-reflect and self-regulate, understand how each other is feeling, and create the space for honest dialog, we can negotiate. We can challenge each other. We can self-advocate and also be generous. We can delegate. We can support each other. We can solve disagreements and compromise. We can engage in ways that allow us to move through all the obstacles and opportunities that come with being human.
Welcome to Elizabeth Rose Mediation. I hope I am able to work with you.
Please visit my website at www.elizabethrosemediation.com
And thank you for reading my writing today.
I am stepping away from social media for a time.
I feel a privileged guilt doing this.
The hostages held by Hamas in Gaza can’t take a break from their trauma but I can stop reading posts about them.
Our country will continue to be infiltrated by terrorist organizations paying our citizens to march for a Global Intifada and I can shut down my feed.
Some government officials can turn their backs on the only democracy in the Middle East and I can deactivate my Instagram and look out my wall of glass and onto the mountains in the winter morning light. The best light.
An International Kangaroo Court of (In)Justice can hear a case filed by a country that courts a terrorist regime and I can sit with my young puppy and my old man, 21-year-old cat and the only thing I can choose to worry about is his care and comfort in his old age.
But still I will worry about more.
I will seek out fair and honest news reporting (hard to find). I will speak with my cousins in Israel and listen to sources that feel honest and clear. I will support organizations that I believe make a difference. And will continue to have conversation and, yes, discourse, with others because engagement is essential to the health of our humanity.
But this, this social media addictive drug is a dopamine hit that is hitting too hard. I need to turn this off.
I can turn this off.
I am blessed that I can turn this off.
I do not take this for granted.
This world, it seems,
is upside ended.
And pulls my heart
till quite extended.
The flux and flow,
I tumble with it.
And feel I need
a self-timed limit.
This page will be here,
still for viewing.
But visits are
my soul’s undoing
And so I take a pause.
Until my body
I had a Facebook exchange on one of my posts some weeks ago. This FB friend asked me how I would expect to get people to understand me when I use terms like ‘pseudo pro-Palestinian protesters’ and ‘anti-Israel protesters’ in reference to the violent protests that I believe are anti-Jewish, anti-Semitic rallies camouflaged as pro-Palestinian protests and that are unfolding all over our country right now.
I asked him to share with me an example of a pro-Palestinian protest that was not violent and anti-Jewish. Just one.
So he quoted Martin Luther King: “Violence is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding: it seeks to annihilate rather than convert.”
This is reference to my words… not in reference to the protesters.
Then he asked me if I thought all of my accusatory, insulting language was going to make things better for my relationships with friends who see the Palestinian side as well as the Israeli side?
Kind of concerns me that he doesn’t feel that the violent protesters are…well, violent and has a problem with me calling this out. Kind of concerns me that he feels that “anti-Jewish” is insulting. Kind of concerns me that he assumes that I only see the Israeli side.
And I asked again, share with me one protest that is not violent and anti-Jewish (oops that phrase again, my bad).
Show me one non-violent, pro-Palestinian protest.
One protest where the protesters faces are all uncovered, where they do not chant ‘from the river to the sea” or ‘intifada revolution.’ Where they do not burn Israeli flags or rip down American flags. Where they do not stop traffic at airports, or take over retail establishments, or deface national monuments or call Israelis Nazis or tear down posters of Hamas hostages in Gaza.
One protest where the protesters sit peacefully and speak about the challenges in Gaza. And know where Gaza was. And what river and sea they are talking about. And care about the Muslims being killed in other countries. And call out Hamas for the atrocious crimes against humanity, the rapes against so many women and girls, the beheading and cutting off of limbs and breasts, the burning of babies, the taking of hostages, that Hamas inflicted on Israel on October 7.
Show me just one protest. Just one. Show me one pro-Palestinian protest that is not anti-Jewish. Show me a pro-Palestinian where the protesters show up in a non-violent way.
The response was “some people see dragons all around them.”
This means me.
I asked him if he wanted to have a conversation around the nature of these protests, or if he wants to just critique my way of communicating.
I asked again for him to share one non-violent, pro-Palestinian protest.
I asked him if he wanted to continue the conversation over coffee or a call.
He said I was not willing to listen and if he couldn’t change my mind, why bother….
I said that was unfortunate… that direct communication in person is a much better way to have this kind of dialog.
And I shared that I was curious why he felt my words were violent and insulting, as I felt they were factual and based on my experience of what is happening.
‘Whatever,’ he said.
‘And there we go,’ I said.
And then he blocked me.
I wrote thirty-two writings in 2023.
A few quite funny. Some, especially most recently, very political. Many deeply reflective as my soul traveled to this next place in my evolution. In this human experience. On this planet of earth/school of survival.
This place that my soul is traveling to, some days I am here. Others, still not so much. But I know where this place is now. And overall, the scales tip more to the easeful side. So this is good.
When the scales tip that other way, and I am in the patterns—that at this point feel performative—I can see this easeful place in the not so distance and, while part of me acts the part that no longer serves me, that knowing voice in my mind continues to ask this question--
—"why do you want what is not good for you?” Still. Why, when I know what I know, “why do I want what is not good for me, still?”
But let’s back up.
This process of growth and transformation that propels us forward into the horrible abyss of despair that then becomes our sweetest next place to be, it happens when we are in discomfort.
We make changes in our life when we are in discomfort. When where we are at is just too uncomfortable, too painful, too challenging, too out of alignment, to unhealthy, too unfulfilled, too uninspired.
And we feel called to shift. In a big way. We know we have to move. Because we cannot stay where we are at for even one other moment.
And so we step in.
But let’s back up.
Discomfort shows up all around us. In our interactions and our choices. In our dysfunctional, and also quite lovely, relationships. In our challenging communications and our inability to communicate. The Universe supplies over and over and over again these painfully awesome symptoms of our internal imbalance.
At first glance we think this is the real discomfort. And we often just move from here. Just as our medical profession often treats the symptoms—take this pill, have this surgery—rather than hunting for the cause of the symptoms in the first place, our humanness does this too. We are in the muck of the symptoms of our internal discomfort and we fix just that.
We end a marriage or relationship. We quit a job. We disconnect from a friend or change the way we care for ourselves with our food and movement practices and meditations and all.
And yes, this works. For a while that is really a quick minute in this lifetime of ours.
Because when we move forward in reaction to an external symptom of our discomfort, it’s not really a moving forward, it’s a running from. And it’s unsustainable.
Because the cause of the symptom is still there. And this where that question comes in.
You know, the—"why do you want what is not good for you?”—question. Because it is this question that moves us out from the external symptom and lands us into our selves.
This is where we have to move from.
When we ask the question—"why do you want what is not good for you?”—we are taking the symptom—the “what is not good for you”—and tracing its path to where it was born—to the “why do you want?”
The question takes us into the internal mess of chaos.
This is the real discomfort. Painful and hard and so not an easy place to land.
And here’s the thing, if we sit here long enough, we begin to make sense. We begin the deeper reflection. And we begin to unravel.
And then we move with intention for growth. And then we move in response to our internal now knowing and with a choosing in our actions. And then, once we can find ourselves in here, we move from a place of internal love and respect and desire for ourselves.
And then we move forward from here (touch your heart).
And then it lasts.
Welcome 2024. Bring it on.
So, once upon a time there was this really cool baby. His name was Jesus. His mom was Mary. She was a virgin.
Now here’s a bit of info that maybe you didn’t know (that I didn't know till someone told me), ‘in the original Hebrew text of the story of Mary and the birth of Jesus, “the word “ha-almah” was used, a word similar to the English “young” or “maid.”
The mistranslation occurred when this text was translated into Greek, where the word “parthenos” meaning virgin is used. The Hebrew word for virgin is “bethulah” and cannot be found anywhere in the original Hebrew text, meaning that the original writer did not intend for it to be read as “virgin” but as “young” girl.
This error in the translation to Greek text begs the question, was it really a mistake? Or was it purposeful?’*
And if it were intentional, was this purposefulness manifested/inspired by a higher source making sure we got this right? He is the dad, after all…
Back to our story--
Here we have Mary. With this friggin’ amazing baby, that Joseph, his just as amazing stepdad, taught how to be a carpenter. Jesus learned this trade really well. He was a really good carpenter. Like kick-ass.
Jesus was also a really good Jew.
And after building a ton of really cool things for a really long time, because he was really good at it, he went out into the world to teach the Old Testament, in its purest most beautiful form.
There was a lot of not so good stuff going on at the time. Romans killing a shit ton of people. The High Priests of the temple kind of aligning with them a bit…hey, better than being killed themselves, right. And probably a lot of people feeling a bit disillusioned.
And Jesus, amazing Jew that he was, he went around, all over Israel (notice how I put that in here, ya know, to point out that the Jews have lived on Israel soil for oh…like nearly 4000 years) teaching all these beautiful Jewish teachings that were kind of getting lost at the time.
Love and tolerance and forgiveness and compassion and understanding and acceptance and how to give unto others and live in alignment with God. Really cool stuff.
And Jesus was pretty friggin’ amazing at being a teacher. Like he was a teacher even better than he was a carpenter. And that says a lot!
The Romans didn’t like this. All this teaching love and having people following him. Because, ya know, when you’re in power, you kind of want the people following you.
So Jesus had to go.
Anyway, back to the beginning.
Jesus’ birthday. Here’s another little bit of interesting info, Jesus was born between April and September… so likely a summer baby—lucky for Mary, it can get pretty darn cold in that manger in the winter.
So, while this whole summer birth thing was going on, during the winters, specifically December, ancient pagan religions celebrated the solstice. And the Roman Catholic church usurped this pagan holiday to create Christmas. And for good measure, they also made Jesus’ birthday on this day. To help convert people. Kinda better than killing them.
So this Jesus’ birth in December day…well here it is. It’s December and we’re here on this special day, birthday celebration once again. And this year, it seems to be a really important year to make note of this.
Of Jesus being born. On the land that is Israel. As a Jewish baby. Jesus. Jewish. Israel. Same land. Same Jesus. Jewish baby. Really cool Jewish baby.
I think this is really clear, yes?
Dear Jesus, my wish, on your birthday, is that all people all over the world love all other people, no matter what their belief is grounded in. That all people love all people. Including Jews. Which is kind of like loving you. Which is kinda nice for you, that all people love you today, this being your birthday today and all. And kind of nice for Jews. Because you. Are one. Of us.
Yom Huledet Sameach Yeshua‘.ישו יום הולדת שמח. Happy Birthday Jesus.
Wishing you a beautiful day and yet another lovely rotation ‘round the sun. It is an honor to be part of your tribe. I have always been a huge, huge fan.
(*Komaberri Bat for translation reference above)
I came upon these two Calvin and Hobbes comic strips the other day. The one about death popped up on my feed first. Which is humorous to me in that “oh Universe, you are so ‘you’” kind of way because I had just been talking to a friend about another friend of his that is ill. As in, in hospice ill. And we were talking about the possible loss of this friend of my friend.
And then, that next day, up pops this Calvin and Hobbes strip about death.
Because this is how the Universe works. She pops things up. Sometimes after the fact, like this Calvin and Hobbes comic strip about death where she is basically saying “hey, I know you were talking about this and here is a little something for you, because I’ve got to get you moving along.”
That’s how she works. She drops things in to get me moving.
And so the comic strip about death, it pops up and gets me thinking, “what other Calvin and Hobbes messages of enlightenment should I know.”
And I google best of Calvin and Hobbes and this butterfly one comes up as the first image in my search. “These are the same, aren’t they?” I laugh to the Universe. She’s so witty and smart.
I am playing around a lot these days with the idea of impermanence. Not just the idea. The beauty. The beauty of impermanence. I’ve been playing around with this idea of this for a long time now.
Rolling it like clay. Wading in it as if in a pond. Tasting it like jelly on my tongue and dancing with it in song. Trying to get to the bottom of it. Trying to see what is just beyond it.
And I couldn’t get there. It had been elusive. Until now.
And then these two strips, the death one and the butterfly one, both of them, they show up.
The death one is clear. It is the “don’t forget that this is all just so fleeting. Even in long life. There is a fleetingness to it all.” The death one is a reminding of this.
And when we are reminded, when we are faced with the loss, it causes us to reflect for that moment. And we see the beauty. And we recognize it is fleeting. Life. Life is fleeting. Which makes it beautiful. The beauty of impermanence.
The other end of the spectrum of this message of impermanence, the butterfly end, this is easier to miss. Because in this, we are in action. It is us.
“This is important, isn’t it?” I begin to ask the Universe and before the thought is even clear in my mind’s conversation with her, she drops in the wisdom I seek.
When we are loss in action—when we let go of the butterfly, rather than in reaction of loss—grieve the loss of a friend, we are the beauty of impermanence.
We are it. It’s us.
And once we are this, once we see that we are impermanent, well then, then we last forever.
This is the cosmic joke of it all.
“Oh my fucking god.” I say to the Universe, and God laughs, too.
Because they have been trying to get me here. For, oh God, a really long time.
I’ve been posting a lot lately about Israel. And anti-Semitism. And being Jewish. The importance of being Jewish. I’ve been posting a lot about all this.
But this writing, this is not about that.
This is about our dog. Moose. This is about Moose.
Isn’t he great. I mean, look at him. He has this amazingly beautiful face. (as does my husband, a whole other writing for a whole different day)
And look at his incredible reddish-brown coat and his big brown eyes. And he is so friggin’ smart. You can hear his brain thinking.
And so fun and sweet and cuddly and overwhelming and demanding and he wants to play all the time and I am not another puppy but he thinks I am at times and so often this is a bit much for me but I do it anyway because, well… because.
Curious how you think we are doing with our training of our dog? With training Moose?
I would guess and gander that you would think not so good, right? I mean, he is standing on the dining table.
You should see him get up here. He literally bounces up…like all four feet flat on the floor and then up in the air. To land on the table. No running start for him, no sir. He’s like Tigger.
It makes us laugh.
I’m thinking we just tell people that we trained him to jump up here. From all four feet, flat on the floor and then up in the air. We’ll just say we trained him to do this. This really cool trick. We’ll call it a table trick. The dog on the table kind of table trick, not the multiplication tables kind of table trick.
We’ll say we taught him this table trick that is more like a parlor trick.
And God is he smart, he learned it in one go. He actually learned it before we even taught it to him. That’s how smart he is.
Good boy, Moose. You are such a good dog.
Once upon a time, there was a land called Israel. It was also called among other names, Canaan and Judah. Jews were here this whole time. They got kicked around. A lot. The Crusades whipped their ass. So did the Romans.
But let’s move up to 1947. So there were boats of Jews coming from Europe and the British were like, “hell no, we don’t want another boatload of these people.” But then they said, “this is bullshit…we don’t want to deal with this anymore” and the British went home.
Meanwhile, the newly created pre-curser to the United Nations offered up the two-state system. They gave like 50% of the land to the Arabs and 40% to the Jews. The newly created State of Israel had arrived.
Tel Aviv was in this Israel part, and a bunch of really shitty farmland and mostly desert. A lot was land that the Jews had already been working and developing.
So the Jews said yes. And the Arabs said hell no. And all the Arab countries surrounding this land said to the Palestinians…get off this land, and we will push all the Jews into the sea. And then you can come back and all the land, all 100% of it, will be yours.
So a lot of the Palestinians left…and went to the borders. And the Arab countries attacked Israel. And they lost. And Israel, because this was a war and all, captured more land than what was originally offered.
The Arabs that stayed in Israel, they became citizens. They work in the Government and sit on the Supreme Court. And they fight in the army—to defend Israel. Because they are Israeli. “Get out,” you say. But it’s true.
Those others, that left when all the Arab countries promised they would kick some Jew ass and told them to leave, because that so didn’t happen, they could not come back. Hence the Palestinian Refugees.
These Refugees...they said to, for example, Jordan…they said “hey Jordan, we can’t go back to our homes now, because you, you know… lost. Can we come live with you?” And Jordan said “hell no.” And so… presenting the West Bank.
And every other Arab country said hell no, too. They didn’t take them in. They didn’t take in their people, who they promised they would push the Jews into the sea for. They said hell no. All these Arab nations. They said, “no, you can’t come in our countries. We don’t want you.”
These Palestinian refugees, they got screwed. By their own people. Still. They are still getting screwed.
Because here we are… Right this minute. Here is Gaza. Are the Arab countries taking in those Palestinians from Gaza now? What is Egypt doing? Are they opening the gate and saying, please come in, we’ll keep you safe, you are one of ours? Nope.
Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi, just a few weeks ago, said “nope. We don’t want you here, you may have militants hiding amidst your group. You’ll muck up the 40-year-old peace treaty we have with Israel. Can’t come here. Hell no.”
And Jordan's King Abdullah II. "No refugees in Jordan.” Pretty clear, huh.
And what about Hamas, the government of the people of Gaza, who have tons of oil and fuel. Are they sharing this with the citizens of Gaza? Nope. They are keeping it to set off their rockets and to make sure they can live in their tunnels under hospitals and schools.
Because it’s not about people. It’s not about helping those people in Gaza.
This is not what it’s about at all. It’s about “From the River to the Sea.”
Eight times a two-state system has been offered and eight times, the Israelis have said yes and the Palestinians have said no. Eight times. The Arabs don’t want peace. They want the Jewish people gone. They want to push the Jewish people into the sea. From the River to the Sea. See
And then, guess what? The West is next. In fact, it’s already started.
I reached out to a friend last week. I needed some perspective. I am in a tough place. The world is a tough place to be in. And it feels impossible. And I need perspective. Because I don’t know what to do.
I go from rage to grief to anger (which is a bit less of an energy place than rage and feels more doable and lasts much longer) and I don’t quite know where to land.
My orbit is small. And the information is dark. And I am in despair.
And surprised. By my Jewishness.
I am surprised by my Jewishness. By the importance of my Jewishness. And by the fact that this important part of me only lit up when blatant Anti-Semitism lit up our College and University campuses, and in our cities and towns all over the United States.
I am not surprised by this level of Anti-Semitism. This does not surprise me. I am surprised by how quickly and easily people have embraced this hate. And how quiet so many people are in the face of the ease in which so many have embraced this hate. But this fact of it, this fact of the immensity of Anti-Semitism, this does not surprise me. It’s always been here. It’s just come out from under wraps.
Like me. I have always been Jewish. And my Jewishness is now unwrapped.
I am exploring this now. This newfound understanding of the importance of being Jewish. This is part of the bucket I am in. The bucket of what this means for me. Of how I want to hold it. Of how I want to live it.
The likelihood of changing how I live it is slim to none honestly. This is not what I mean. It’s more the awareness of it. The defining quality of me. Where I used to be a 61-year-old woman, now I am a 61-year-old Jewish woman. And this is new. And means something. Something important to me. I still don’t know what exactly that this is.
So this is a part of the despair. The not knowing quite where I am at in this Jewishness of me. But figuring it out. And it will come.
And then there is the other part. The second part of the sentence. The “..this important part of me only lit up when blatant Anti-Semitism lit up...” The Anti-Semitism part.
And I want to find a way to not sit in the darkness of this. Each day, every day. I do not mean that I want to ignore it. Certainly not ignore it. Not turn away or say it’s not so big because I know it is so big.
Just to offer in some light into this darkness that I feel heavily cloaked in during this very sad time.
So I went looking for goodness. I googled goodness. Goodness right now. What is happening that is good right now.
At first, I couldn’t find anything. No matter what I googled, what I searched for, the search turned my words around and shared only the darkness.
But then, over these last few days, goodness is cropping up. A post on Instagram. A story from a friend. A video shared on a group chat. The collective consciousness is feeling this need for kindness and showing up. Seeing our sameness. Recognizing each other’s pain. Connecting as humans.
I believe we need more of this.
If you feel so called—share something beautiful with me. Share with me some news in the world that is kind. Share a place in this world where good work is being done. Where people are standing up and supporting each other. Where the polarity of good and evil is not playing out over and over again. Show me the goodness. We need to see love.
Mother, Wife, Friend, Sister, Daughter, Dancer, Rower, Runner, Dog and Cat lover.