I’ve been reworking my website as I rework my work.
Let’s start with my work. As many (all)(most)(some)(most) of you know, I have been a Divorce Mediator for a long ass time. Too long (sometimes) I think—I have declared that I am retiring from this work a number of times. But still I will get pulled back in because, well… I am really good at it. And help a lot of people. I make a difference in their lives and it’s hard to not step in and work with these couples and families during this, God, this is such a most difficult time in their lives.
And there is the Couples and Family Mediation work that I do, too. An offshoot of the Divorce work, at first, when couples I was separating were referring me to couples that were coupling but still challenged in their dynamics with each other. And then, in time, as a stand along offering as my reputation grew in this bucket. I work with couples, with families altogether, with parents and their kids, with just their kids. It’s good work.
And then, over these past number of years I started to step into something new—I am an Executive and Leadership Coach.
This fell into my lap as my husband’s coaching company, Garth Rose Consulting, needed someone (me) to take over the coaching as he grew his (amazing) software company, GenRocket.
The progression to this makes sense. The executives I coach are predominantly in Family Business. So the GM is managing the VP of Sales, who also happens to be his older brother. And the dad (founder) is retired, but not really. And the youngest sister, just out of school and doing support work, actually has the most commanding style and the best leadership drivers of the bunch.
Family Mediation camouflaged as Leadership Coaching where I offer tools in leadership and management and delegation and accountability. And communication and active listening and self-regulation and empathy and how to be kind while also being direct. You get the idea.
The work that I do most, is mostly this Leadership Coaching work. While I will take the Divorce Mediation client (see above, in paragraph 1) and I continue to work with couples and families, the focus of my time is the Leadership and Executive Coaching.
But my website, it was still presenting me as a Divorce Mediator.
Time for an edit (upgrade)(rework).
I launched it today. This is my Home Page (introduction)(explanation)(overview of my offerings)--
Hi and welcome to Elizabeth Rose Mediation.
It may seem that my offerings don't quite match—the Executive and Leadership Coaching along with the Mediation work— oh but they do.
Because all this work, whether the navigation to end your marriage, the commitment to nurture your relationships, or the desire to grow as a leader in your company, all ground on two essential skills—
Emotional Intelligence and creating the container of Psychological (Emotional) Safety.
A quick review--
Daniel Goleman popularized the term Emotional Intelligence in 1995. He states that emotional intelligence is a person's ability to manage their feelings so that those feelings are expressed appropriately and effectively.
There are four Emotional Intelligence Pillars: Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Awareness of others (Empathy), and Building Relationship.
Allow me to paraphrase/expand/engage a bit with this--
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage our feelings so that they are expressed in the best way to support our relationships with each other. This means we need to know where we're at, how to regulate where we're at so that we don't sabotage our interactions with others, understand where they're at so that we can read the dynamic and, again, self-regulate in response to their emotional and possible de-regulation and, in turn, build this productive and quite lovely, even when it's a challenging dialog, relationship with others.
Once we do this, we are able to create Psychological Safety (the business term)/Emotional Safety (the relationship term).
Psychological Safety means that, as leaders, we are creating a container in our work environment that accomplishes four essential goals for a great work environment--
—Inclusion Safety. That members feel safe to belong to the team. They are comfortable being present, do not feel excluded, and feel like they are wanted and appreciated.
—Learner Safety. That members are able to learn through asking questions. Team members here may be able to experiment, make (and admit) small mistakes, and ask for help.
—Contributor Safety. That members feel safe to contribute their own ideas, without fear of embarrassment or ridicule. This is a more challenging state, because volunteering your own ideas can increase the psychosocial vulnerability of team members. And,
—Challenger Safety. That members can question others’ (including those in authority) ideas or suggest significant changes to ideas, plans, or ways of working.
As Leaders, when we create this container of Psychological Safety, we are creating an environment where our team can approach us with confidence, knowing that they will be listened to, respected, appreciated, and valued.
Now Emotional Safety—similar theme, different word choice--
Emotional Safety means that, as humans in relationship with each other, we are creating a container in our relationship with others where--
—We feel valued and valuable.
—We can truly be ourselves without the risk of judgment.
—We can show our weaknesses without being taken advantage of.
—We can share boldly and express ourselves freely.
—We feel seen, heard, and understood.
When we, as participants in our relationships, create this container of Emotional Safety, we are creating an environment where the people we care about can interact from a place of vulnerability, which is the key element that fosters connection, knowing that they will be valued, honored, supported, and respected.
It all starts from here. From knowing ourselves, and then taking that knowledge into the container of safety for others.
When we are able to do this, self-reflect and self-regulate, understand how each other is feeling, and create the space for honest dialog, we can negotiate. We can challenge each other. We can self-advocate and also be generous. We can delegate. We can support each other. We can solve disagreements and compromise. We can engage in ways that allow us to move through all the obstacles and opportunities that come with being human.
Welcome to Elizabeth Rose Mediation. I hope I am able to work with you.
Please visit my website at www.elizabethrosemediation.com
And thank you for reading my writing today.
Mother, Wife, Friend, Sister, Daughter, Dancer, Rower, Runner, Dog and Cat lover.