Opening My Heart
I am in transition. In a big way. Constant shifts in consciousness. New paradigms to step into. Feelings that I never had before. And happiness. Followed by deep moments of grief and then happiness again. There is possibility in my life in a way that I have not known before. It is happening. Everything. What. Ever. That. Is.
And in this period of growth and renewal I am discovering a deeper level of connection with others that is also new to me. A connection that has awakened my understanding of community and my oneness with others. And with other, spirit, one, the universe, mother nature. God.
These connections, I actually began them over a year ago, with a friendship that blossomed between three of us. Deep in our friendship we offered unfettered love, a strong shoulder, a listening and a knowing. And a holding of each other's hands when the path was too steep.
When I was thinking of writing today, this was not the theme. There is another writing brewing in my head and heart but as I sat down I thought to look at what last year's writing on this date was. And it was about this heart-connected friendship that I speak of above.
And I love this. Because many of the things I wrote back then, that I did not remember that I wrote till just now - these things resonate with me still. And so I am sharing them again...my writing from last year - June 29, 2015. Here goes:
The Loveliness of Us
Yesterday was my dear friends birthday. And in dear friend I mean my friend who is deep in my heart. I do not use this term lightly. The term dear. Truly, I don't. Because in the course of my life there have not been many that have become that to me.
These friends are rare. For me they are almost unheard of. For most of my life the feeling of intimacy happens so quickly and yet we are still just on the surface and so the feeling of deep connection is really a veil. Because I have often been the master of the intimate acquaintance, connecting on a level that is just below that new banter that happens when you first meet someone right away and it is only on those rare occasions that I would descend to that authentic place where my heart is open. It is a gift that I can dip just below the surface, because the world is always friendly and welcomes me in. But it is a curse, because in doing so I am treading water rather than taking those deep, clean breaths and plunging into the cool relief of true friendship.
But I have learned to jump, with barely a splash so quietly do I enter the water, and connect with others. And so it is with my birthday friend and another. Three of us. Our friendship is forged over months of angst and introspection. Laughter and joy. We walk each other through the challenges and accomplishments of the every day and the extraordinary. And whether we are watching a full moon rising or sharing a quick coffee, whether we speak often or weeks go by filled with that which harnesses our focus in other directions, our friendship runs deep. Unconditional. Constant.
And with this sweet friendship comes the possibility of more. For as I have learned to open my heart and trust that the vulnerability I often fear is not an enemy but merely a reminder of the connections that are waiting for me, I am able to welcome new voices into the chorus that are my friends.
There is a warmth within my heart that reminds me I am blessed.
And so this phrase - dear friend - it is full. It has life. It has a pulse. Take a minute and feel it and in the feeing of it, feel those people in your life that are dear to you in that way that runs deep in the rhythm of your heart and in the beat of your pulse.
6/27/2016 03:15:56 pm
So beautiful! I LOVE you, dear friend!. You've been an intrinsic part to my life here in Ojai.
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply.
Mother, Wife, Friend, Sister, Daughter, Dancer, Rower, Runner, Dog and Cat lover.